I have a series of Maya selection sets (e.g. body_all, upper_body, lower_body, eyes, brows, mouth, etc.) that contain all rig controls specific to that set, and I'm using command buttons in the picker to select the members of those sets.  For example, I have a "brows" command button that selects the members of the Maya selection set "brows", so with one click I can select all brow controls.  The benefit of using a command button over a normal selection button is that I can edit the selection set or generate the selection set on rig build, and the picker dynamically updates since it's just pointing to the set itself.  I can also use the same picker with different characters that have different controls for the brows, as long as they both have a "brows" selection set.
This all works very well, but by default command buttons do not change appearance after they are clicked in the same way a normal selection button does.  A selection button will stay highlighted white, which is nice because visually it tells the animator that the brows are selected.  A command button selects the brows and then returns to its normal un-highlighted color, so the animator has no visual confirmation that the brows are selected (aside from what he/she sees in the viewport).
Is there a way to change this behavior via script?  For example, on press, change color to white and stay white until a different button is pressed.  And also stay white if the animator shift-selects a second button.  Basically mimicking the behavior of a normal selection button, but with the more flexible functionality of the command button.  Hope that makes sense.  Thanks!
EDIT: I guess another idea would be to expand the functionality of the standard selection button so that it could select selection sets.